Cohabitation
is undergoing an accelerating trend in the recent past. Many young couples
decided to live together without engagement or marriage. As one of the member
of my group, I agreed to select cohabitation as the issue to discuss in our
forum. One of the purposes we selected this issue is because we want to have a
deeper insight on the bright side as well as the downside of cohabitation. At
the same time, we realized cohabitation is a focus issue of media as well as
academic research. We are fervent to know whether it is a right choice for
couples to cohabit before marriage. If it is not, what are the criteria that
couples need to weigh up and reflect on before they opted to cohabit? Consequently, all of my group members came to
an agreement that cohabitation will be an appealing yet attention-grabbing
issue to be discussed about. We will be able to convey useful messages to the
audience, especially the young generation.
One
question struck my mind when I was doing my research on cohabitation. Is there
any difference between cohabitation and marriage? Initially, I assumed
cohabitation is different from marriage as cohabitation is informal and there
is no legal documentation occurring between the two partners. It is possible
that cohabitation and marriage is not identical (Joyner, 1999). For unmarried
couples, they are less likely to share the ownership of the house and resources
(Blumstein, 1983). The possibilities to establish a strong and long-lasting
relationship is also lower (Bumpass, 1983). The degree of respect among
partners may also differ from couples who are legally married.
I
believe there are both pros and cons to everything. I have read an article from
Asia Times saying that the Singapore Government is currently worrying about the
increasing divorce rate and decreasing birth rate. I think such scenario
occurred because most of the couples in the modern society cohabit before
marriage without realizing that it actually weakens a marriage relationship
afterward and therefore contributes to the acceleration of divorce rate.
Although many people including myself believe that it is better to have a trial
period before you buy or invest in something, I realized it is the opposite for
marriage. Marriage is a whole life commitment. Couples need to build
compatibility in order to maintain a lasting relationship, not test it (Harley,
1996).
I
discovered that cohabitation is an agreement without commitment. Some people
might say that marriage is only a piece of license but I think marriage is far
more beyond that. In marriage, couples often encounter differences of values,
loyalty, freedoms, feelings and labors. This is when commitment for marriage
plays a significant role. Commitment is essential to develop a successful
marital relationship (Mace, 1989). Couples who share commitment in their
marriage care and be thoughtful for each other at all times. They love and
cherish each other even if they find themselves in adverse condition.
In
addition, I learned that it is always advantageous to consider all pros and
cons when making a decision of major importance. Decision is about dealing with
the consequences. The same goes to making the decision to cohabit before
marriage. It is important to ensure we make the right choice because we are the
one who have to live with them after all. As a teacher trainee, I understand
that I need to acquire the skills of decision making because I will be the
leader of my class in the coming future. A good decision making skill reflects acquirement
of leadership quality.
In
a nutshell, I highly acknowledge the opportunity to conduct a forum because I
learned to carry myself confidently which is an invaluable experience. I
appreciate the knowledge that I gained and it serves as the guidelines of my
life.
No comments:
Post a Comment