REFLECTION 1 - YEAN YAN TONG

Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, the former president of South Africa once said, “It always seems impossible until things are done.”  This was how it was like to me when everything was done.  To fulfil the requirement of the coursework of Language Development III (PI 1352 P), I have to participate a forum and does an individual reflection. Now, it was finally done. Thank God for everything.

I was with my same usual group with Dorina Wong Ming, Low Loo Ken and Soon Ming Hui. I volunteered and was appointed as the moderator of our forum. As the group leader, I had an overall responsibility to gather my group members and lead the discussion. We had discussions, rehearsals and preparations before the presentation day and I have learnt new knowledge on the journey.

The issue we set forth for our forum was families and marriages with the topic Marital Breakdown: Divorce or Not?’ This was a topic related to every one of us. Although we are still too young to experience marriage, we thought that a lot of us might have seen cases of parents fighting in our own families. Our aim is that to provide prior knowledge on marriages before getting into one so that to increase awareness among the young generation about conflicts in relationships. 
           
To make myself as a moderator on the subject area, I had done an extensive research on the topic and equipped myself with sufficient knowledge on marital breakdowns and divorces. The most important thing that I have learnt is that a lot of misunderstanding and arguments start off with miscommunication. I was affected as a learner, to try to appreciate and understand people around me and to be careful on my speech because words are often harmful weapons. Thus, my plan for future interpersonal relationship management is that to practice the arts of speaking and listening, according to Rebecca Kimbel’s (Motivational Speaker)speech: to validate and accept what is heard and to always speak with respect, compassion and sincerity.

Now, talking about what I felt, after the forum, it was a great relieved that we have done fine. I knew that I have learnt a lot and it was a wonderful learning experience. It was a little bit stressful for me to lead and work with this small group since we have a distinct expectation on our working process and on our final product. Nonetheless, it was a great learning process. I have studied on the fundamental skills of conducting a forum, learnt about paralinguistic skills and also changed my perspective on certain things in life.

First of all, I had done a lot of self-learning beforehand regarding the elements of a well-conducted forum. From my research, I have found out that to conduct a good forum, an interesting topic is a must therefore my group members and I started out from deciding an interesting issue that would trigger minds. After that, as the moderator, I played a big part in determining and deciding the group dynamics. As a team, we discussed on the tips that I found on managing group dynamics such as creating time limits for each discussion items, planning the sequence of speaking, determine how questions from the audience will be handled and also setting the mood of our forum.

Besides that, I, as a moderator, have also done a brief searching through Google search engine regarding the role of a moderator. I learnt that a moderator does not usually have a conflict of interest with the subject matter of the panel discussion. She is the emcee of the discussion, keeps conversation moving, adheres to and enforces the guidelines and rules of the panel discussion. I have also asked my friends about ways to handle question and direct question to the panellists. I tried out the tips provided during rehearsals so that I would not be awkward handling question from the floor.

Furthermore, I have improved on my paralinguistic communication skills. It is more than important that one having good paralinguistic skills in a forum where spotlight is focused on you. According to Henely and Schott, language is more than just words; paralinguistic skills are the crucial part that we give to enhance our speech. I have looked into the intonation, emphasis, volume and pace of my speech. I sought help from the seniors and they advised me to put more effort on my intonation. Thus, I have tried to adopt a more professional way to present my speech. Also I had been constantly reminding myself about the non-verbal norms (eye contact and hand gesture) and cultural features (ways of indicating agreement and being polite). Paralinguistic communication skill is most essential to conduct an engaging forum.

Besides all English language skills, to handle interpersonal relationship is one of the things I learnt. Although my group members and I always work together since semester 1, the difference in thinking still did, lead us to minor arguments and debates. However, the important skill I learnt had helped me much in resolving misunderstands. As an action for change, I learnt to step back and pause to look, listen and reflect. It, all the time, never failed to give me peace conclusion as it allowed me to think critically to identify things that I would not otherwise notice. Showing appreciation to group members, editing peers’ work and also giving constructive feedbacks are especially important. To separate myself with the perfectionism in me was hard but it has to be done to ensure collaboration. In this case, constructive communication plays a big role. To give constructive harmless comments are possible if the commenter practices appreciation and respect towards the receivers.

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” Walt Disney once said. In conclusion, I think I did well in my job and responsibility as a moderator.  I tried new things, failed a dozen times and then finally succeed. I screwed up things, fixed problems and learnt from every single detail. However, everything was worthwhile when our forum was well conducted.  The glorious moment and the sweet memories will forever imprint in my mind. It was a ravishing and lovely experience!

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